Aren't People Real A**holes?

If only people saw through me how I want them to!

I’m such a peach that every time I’m in a bad mood, I wonder why no one comes to save me or guide me. I go to the people I call my safe space - my “Big Five.” It doesn’t matter if they can’t relate; I find myself thinking, why can’t they just say the right thing for once? I’m not asking them to solve my problems. Ugh!

It’s so interesting that we often isolate for this exact reason. It makes you wonder: Am I the problem? Actually, no! The issue is that you’re going to the same people with different problems and expecting a different outcome. We crave familiarity, but we often mistake “familiarity” for genuine connection. Real connection happens when someone relates to your struggle, your success, or your worldview in the now.

But we’re so caught up in our own bubbles and judgments that we fail to see what a stranger might offer. We’ve villainised the “other” so much that it’s become impossible to see outside our comfort zones. What if, for once, we caught up with a stranger and had a real conversation where the only thing you knew about each other was what was being said in that exact moment? No “remember whens.” No, “I remember you talked about this three months ago.” Just: “I love that you just said that,” or “I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels that way.” 

Sometimes vulnerability is the only thing that reveals your true values and strengths - and that doesn’t always happen within your small circle. In those circles, people often know too much about you; your emotional baggage starts to feel too heavy for them to carry. It’s why so many of us feel lost in our own groups and choose to isolate for a “reset.”

If you’re someone who could benefit from a word of acknowledgement or admiration, it is best received from someone who sees you as fresh energy. Compliments hold more weight when they come from someone who truly sees your values, not just your trauma history.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we live in a world where technology gives us new ways to judge and “other” each other. We seldom build connections outside our bubbles because we assume strangers will judge us the same way we judge them. We undervalue

what a short conversation with an unfamiliar human can do to change our trajectory.

What if we just walked around with an open mind? Open to a new face, a new perspective? People really aren’t assholes; they’re just as lost as you are. Your ability to connect with anyone, anywhere, might just be the superpower you’re looking for.

Maybe the connection, the familiarity, isn't really missing

Maybe it's right here 💜

About the author:

Samanda Mularachchi

Samanda is a social worker, founder, and social justice advocate who believes the

most radical thing you can do is understand yourself. She writes about the messy,

honest, human work of staying well and building heartfelt connections.